TO KNOW ME IS TO LOVE ME

   When I’m not tired but know I should sleep I put on an eye mask and count down from 1000. I used to count down from 100 but that was too quick, I would still be awake by the time I got to zero. Most days I can lie down, rest my head on the pillow, and fall straight to sleep but lately I haven’t been tired. So I count. On a good night I won’t get past 900, on a bad night I can get down to 600. I never envision sheep jumping over a fence instead I see the numbers falling away as if they’re being torn from a wall hanging calendar or turning over like how the number of gallons on the meter of a gas station pump would turn over. When I wake up I don't remember where I left off.    Nine hundred ninety nine…nine hundred ninety eight…nine hundred ninety seven… 7:05 am    I walked from our apartment and stopped at the coffee truck that’s usually stationed outside the train and next to the bus stop from seven to eleven every morning. I’m friendly wi...

     I rolled over to turn off the 6am alarm that buzzed loudly against the glass-topped side table. The stiff bed granted me a sound nights sleep despite the drinking I had done during dinner. I laid there for a moment before getting out of bed and ducking my head low to avoid hitting the angled ceiling I had crashed into the night before. The age of the house we had been staying in, though built in the 1800’s, did not show it nor sound like it. The old wooden bedroom door did not creak when I opened it nor did the oddly sized stairs when I descended them. I had risen without a sound.      I have been in the habit of waking up early to go for walks in the morning. I think of them as a meditative practice. Every morning I get up and meander through the park or walk-about the streets of the upper part of Manhattan. Mostly the west side but I sometimes ventured east. I walk for an hour or so. The morning light is different. The noises of the city are differen...