07/13/24

    Rain. 

    After spending the morning annoying me, H left for the office. I sat on the sofa and watched Purple Noon with Alain Delon. Not great. I threw the bed sheets in the laundry and put away the five pairs of my shoes which were strewn about. For the next few hours I sipped on a single cup of coffee and alternated between lying on the floor and lying on the sofa.

7:45 pm

    I left my apartment for the first time all day and went for a walk. It was extremely humid and I began to sweat before I even stepped into the park. I saw traces of the setting sun. After walking a bit, I grabbed a Citibike and raced across the west side to Riverside Park hoping to catch a glimpse of the dying sunset. I parked and walked down to the water, found a spot of grass, used my Bottega as a pillow, and laid looking up at the clear sky as it darkened. Helicopters flew above, a luxury cruise slowly floated up the Hudson, the racing cars on the overpass behind me maintained a constant background noise. Couples embraced on the rocks by the shore, lone loungers read books or looked off into the distance. And there I was and I was alone—I’ve been alone all day. 

    I took my time walking along the water, heading back towards home. The restaurant on the pier was packed; the night is was beautiful, I wanted a drink but didn't stop. Fireflies started coming into view in the darkened park pathways. I reached 84th Street and stopped by a deli. I grabbed an ice cream sandwich and a water then continued my walk. 

    When I was younger my family would buy the large variety pack of ice cream from Costco—cones, drums, and sandwiches. The taste reminded me of summer breaks, home alone. By 86th Street, the sandwich melted. Cicadas rattled loudly in the trees as I walked up Central Park.

    Back at my apartment, I saw that I forgot to put new sheets on the bed. I ignored it and ate an overly ripe plum while standing in the kitchen.

Playlist

Road to the West - SEATBELTS

Safe In Your Skin - Title Fight

I Know It’s Over - The Smiths

After All - Mojave 3

Cico Buff - Cocteau Twins

My Life in Art - Mojave 3

Creature - It Looks Sad.

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